Read Think & Write

For those who wonder if there should not be more in life than spending ten to twelve hours a day in the office and working towards a promotion, and then working twelve to fourteen hours a day, the book “The Why Café” by John Strelecky is just right. The book has a total of 127 pages and is an easy read but with a deep impact.

The author takes us on a journey in search of the meaning of life. By an unintentional coincidence, John lands on the way to vacation in the Why Café, where he spends the rest of the night with good food and profound conversations. It all starts with the menu and three questions on its back.

1. Why are you here? (What is your Purpose for Existing?)
2. Do you fear death?
3. Are you fulfilled?

During his stay in the Why Café John meets the waitress Casey, the chef and café owner Mike, as well as Anne a life experienced guest of the Why Café. All three will help John to find some answers.

It takes time to answer the question on your own. No one can force you to deal with the questions. It is a very personal decision but once you start, it will be difficult to stop. Many people are searching for meaning and often don’t know what it is. This is where the three questions and the people from the Why Café can help. There is not only one way to answer these questions. However, those who have found an answer obviously have something in common. If a person knows why he is here, then he has realized the purpose for his existence (“PFE”). One does not have to limit himself to one thing. Throughout his life, he may find that he wants to do 10, 20 or 100 things. The most satisfied guests of the Why Café are those who know their PFE and try all things that serve their purpose. The other people also do a lot of things but those things that have nothing to do with their PFE.

If you’re not sure why you’re here and what you want to do, chances are you’re doing what most people do and that is usually based on family advice, social pressure, or other people’s opinions. In this regard, the book contains two great analogies and some fine advise how to approach the questions:

#1 Casey and the Green Sea Turtles

Casey talks about the Green Sea Turtles, who effectively use the rhythm of the waves to move forward instead of widely paddling around and get nowhere except exhausted. You can waste your energy with a lot of things if you do not know exactly what your PFE is and you may then no longer have the strength or time to do what you are “here” for.

#2 Mike and the wise Fisherman

The other story is told by the café owner Mike and is pretty well known, but still worth listening to again and again. It’s about a businessman who is watching a fisherman on a beach during his vacation. The fisherman drives out every morning to catch fish for himself and his family. One morning they both get into a conversation and the fisherman says that he has breakfast every morning with his wife and children. While the kids are at school, he then drives out with his boat to get the food for the day and his wife stays home and paints. After lunch, he takes a short nap and in the evening he walks with his wife on the beach while the children swim in the sea. The businessman asks if he can bring home enough fish every day. Yes, the fisherman answers I catch more than enough fish and those I do not need I let go back into the sea. “But why don’t you fish all day and catch as many fish as you can?”, the businessman wants to know. The businessman further explains to the fisherman that if he sells the extra fish on the market, he could eventually afford a second net to catch even more fish. Later, a second boat would be added, and the first employee, and if he continued to do so, he could soon afford an office in the city and set up a whole fish business in ten years. What he should do all this for, the fisherman asked the businessman. Of course, to make money so that one day he could retire and only do what he wanted. The fisherman asked: “Is this the time when I could have breakfast with my family, drive out with my boat to go fishing and be back on the beach with my wife and children in the evening?”. The businessman was upset that the fisherman did not jump on his ideas. “Yes”, the businessman replied angrily, “though your children may already be too tall.” The fisherman smiled, shook hands with the businessman and wished him a good day.

We go to work every day to make enough money to settle down someday, to have time for the things we like to do. Every day we have the opportunity to do what we want. Every day we can answer the question why am I here. We do not have to wait until retirement. Just do it.

#3 Anne’s advice

Anne is a graduate economist and former executive from the advertising industry. She explains to John why it is so hard for us to focus on pursuing our goals and recognizing our purpose of existence. There are too many messages that are presented to us every day through the media. There, our fears and longings are specifically addressed. Anne points out that we’ve been bombarded with these subtle messages since childhood, and at some point, we start working in order to make money to buy all those things. We may not have our dream job and spend more time in the office than we like, but as a reward, we can buy some of the things that we believe will fulfill us. The big problem is that if we are not satisfied with the work but spend so much time doing it, then we are becoming increasingly dissatisfied and almost yearn to retire. In the meantime, we buy many things to distract us, hoping that these things fulfill us. As we all know, fulfillment is short-lived, and we spend more and more money on this kind of fulfillment, which in turn means we have to work more. Work that does not satisfy us and makes us unhappy. It’s a vicious cycle that must be broken as soon as possible and the question “why am I here” can help us here. It is our job to find out what fulfills us the most otherwise someone else will tell you.

December is a great time to reflect on the things and people that are most important to our lives. You can start with the “Why Café” or on your own. It will be a worthwhile journey.